Robert O'Kelley: A Coach's Heart
River City Rising
As with every year, when the NBA Finals are in full swing and basketball becomes the center of conversations, I am reminded of the days when I used to be a basketball fan: back when the Lakers and Celtics had team superstars but the focus was really on their superstar teams; back when Duke and Chapel Hill were rivals and even if you hated Christian Laettner you had to be honest in admitting he was a genuine team player. I miss that focus on team and its seemingly gradual demise (in my humble opinion) caused fear to hover over me as I signed my son up for T-ball.
This year my son played his first season of T-ball under the guidance of Coach Josh Yates and the Second Presbyterian Church Sports and Recreation Ministry. I was hesitant to enroll him after having read numerous national stories about signs being posted on dugout fences and parents being ejected from games as stern reminders that this is still a team sport and the players are still children. Thankfully, our experience would be very different. When the season ended I nearly cried while thanking Coach Yates for his professionalism, compassion and gift in redirecting without reprimanding. I also thanked the ministry’s director, Coach O’Kelley, because he’d managed to maintain the integrity of this favorite pastime without posted warning signs or spectator ejections. And I wanted to sit down with him and find out exactly how he manages to do that season after season.
When I walked into Coach O’Kelley’s office the first thing to catch my eye was the Wake Forest jersey on the wall.
“You played for Wake Forest?” I asked excitedly, as I recalled occasionally watching Wake Forest play when waiting for a Duke or Chapel Hill game to come on television.
“Yup.”
This year my son played his first season of T-ball under the guidance of Coach Josh Yates and the Second Presbyterian Church Sports and Recreation Ministry. I was hesitant to enroll him after having read numerous national stories about signs being posted on dugout fences and parents being ejected from games as stern reminders that this is still a team sport and the players are still children. Thankfully, our experience would be very different. When the season ended I nearly cried while thanking Coach Yates for his professionalism, compassion and gift in redirecting without reprimanding. I also thanked the ministry’s director, Coach O’Kelley, because he’d managed to maintain the integrity of this favorite pastime without posted warning signs or spectator ejections. And I wanted to sit down with him and find out exactly how he manages to do that season after season.
When I walked into Coach O’Kelley’s office the first thing to catch my eye was the Wake Forest jersey on the wall.
“You played for Wake Forest?” I asked excitedly, as I recalled occasionally watching Wake Forest play when waiting for a Duke or Chapel Hill game to come on television.
“Yup.”
He doesn’t elaborate beyond the years he was there: 1998-2001. It isn’t until later that I learn through my own research that he didn’t just play, he was the 1998 ACC Rookie of the Year, was one of the top three-point shooters in ACC history and was named to the 2011 ACC Basketball Tournament Legends class. His withholding of this information makes perfect sense as I recall our interview and the true focus of O’Kelley’s life, personally and professionally. It is not on numbers or accolades but on building character and accepting one’s calling in life, both the reasons we are sitting in his office today.
At 26 years old while playing professional basketball overseas for Brazil, O’Kelley learned he had a heart condition that could gravely impact his career, possibly his life. So his time in Brazil came to an end. But this ending was actually a beginning and the same heart that was cause for rejection was the same heart that led him to embrace his calling. A graduate of White Station High School, his heart led him home to Memphis. For eight years now he has been changing Memphians’ lives through sports.
Even with children as young as four, he instills strength and confidence, pulling out of them their very best. “I am here to encourage them,” he affirms. This is a belief he also stresses to his staff (which includes all of the team coaches) and plays a large part when deciding whether he will add someone, or not, to the roster. “They have to have a heart for everyone. Do things in goodness and love.”
He speaks on the importance of discipline and consistency, of maintaining a balance between life and sports. O’Kelley uses his own life as an example, sharing that it is sometimes difficult to find that balance when you are so passionate about you do. A husband and father to a young child, he strives each day to be consistent in prioritizing his commitments, which includes starting each day with prayer. “Am I being led by God’s Word?” is the question he often asks as the day progresses to include his other priorities of family and work- in that order.
Coach O’Kelley’s number, 5, is now retired at White Station High School and each year he hosts a basketball camp for the school’s players. He learned a lot growing up in Memphis, he says, and after having lived all over the world can sum up how he feels about the city in one sentence.
“When I think of Memphis I think of family.”
We sit at the table in his office talking for another hour, long after the official interview has ended. I understand clearly why my family’s experience on the baseball field this season was so stress-free and fun. I understand why Coach Yates brought out the best in all of his players and made such a memorable impact in such a short amount of time. They are, all things considered, a family and made me and my son feel part of the family, too. And that is something done in goodness and in love.
At 26 years old while playing professional basketball overseas for Brazil, O’Kelley learned he had a heart condition that could gravely impact his career, possibly his life. So his time in Brazil came to an end. But this ending was actually a beginning and the same heart that was cause for rejection was the same heart that led him to embrace his calling. A graduate of White Station High School, his heart led him home to Memphis. For eight years now he has been changing Memphians’ lives through sports.
Even with children as young as four, he instills strength and confidence, pulling out of them their very best. “I am here to encourage them,” he affirms. This is a belief he also stresses to his staff (which includes all of the team coaches) and plays a large part when deciding whether he will add someone, or not, to the roster. “They have to have a heart for everyone. Do things in goodness and love.”
He speaks on the importance of discipline and consistency, of maintaining a balance between life and sports. O’Kelley uses his own life as an example, sharing that it is sometimes difficult to find that balance when you are so passionate about you do. A husband and father to a young child, he strives each day to be consistent in prioritizing his commitments, which includes starting each day with prayer. “Am I being led by God’s Word?” is the question he often asks as the day progresses to include his other priorities of family and work- in that order.
Coach O’Kelley’s number, 5, is now retired at White Station High School and each year he hosts a basketball camp for the school’s players. He learned a lot growing up in Memphis, he says, and after having lived all over the world can sum up how he feels about the city in one sentence.
“When I think of Memphis I think of family.”
We sit at the table in his office talking for another hour, long after the official interview has ended. I understand clearly why my family’s experience on the baseball field this season was so stress-free and fun. I understand why Coach Yates brought out the best in all of his players and made such a memorable impact in such a short amount of time. They are, all things considered, a family and made me and my son feel part of the family, too. And that is something done in goodness and in love.